Walking in circles

Life... Our current frontier. I have for the past few days been subjected to an alarming amount of "Star Trek: The Next Generation". Not really watching it, but rather just catching the bits and pieces of soundtrack and dialogue while I go about busying myself with other entertainment that I prefer. But that one little phrase, "Space... The Final Frontier", which could be one of the show's most identifiable lines got me thinking just a little. How do I view my life? As a frontier to be explored and experienced no matter what trials may come, enjoying the journey and not living in the past or the future? Or playing it as safe as possible to eliminate risk, wanting to merely survive rather than live? This line appears in the amazing new movie "12 Years A Slave" when, after being kidnapped and put on a slavery ship, our main character is told that if he wants to survive it's best to just keep his head down and not cause any trouble. To which he responds, "I don't wanna survive, I wanna live." I don't know exactly why I'm in this general mood or asking such big questions. Maybe it's because I've been feeling under the weather, and in these times I often turn to reflect and examine my life and where it seems to be headed.

I've recently been entertaining the thought of venturing outward, away from the comfortable and safe. Force myself to grow in a new environment, even if it's just for a short while. To boldly go where no... ME has ever gone before. (Seriously, so much Star Trek) The one thing keeping me here is the small group of people that I'm still in community with. Outside of the few times a week I spend with them, my life kinda sucks at the moment. I'm acquiring more expenses and not so lucky with acquiring more hours to take care of them. Nearly all of my days off have turned into days by myself, I'm suffocating. Living with people who are related to each other has given me a front row seat to remind me of one of the things I miss most, my family.

I've been researching what it takes to be a writer. The more interviews I read the clearer it becomes that one should write what they know. Write from experience. That has really struck a cord because I am voluntarily going through near identical experiences every day. If I was to write about what I know now, all of it would be stale and sound the same. I need to have experiences or else I'm going to sit in front of a blank page for the rest of my life without anything to say. 

Sorry for the downer post, go have a new experience.